137 Quotes by Dan Jenkins

All day long I've been telling myself it's only a merry-go-round. Some people fall off quicker than others. No big mystery.

It was a hot sticky night in Barcelona and all the good whores had the summer flu.

I don't know how television or radio is going to survive without newspapers because that's where they get all their news. It's going to be hopeless.

When I was a lad in my 20s, as carefree and debonair as any other underpaid newspaperman, I happened to be a golfer who could flirt with par fairly often, and I was adventurous enough in those days to play any known or unknown thief who showed up at Goat Hills for whatever amount he fancied.

I'd follow Ben Hogan and Byron Nelson anywhere.

The devoted golfer is an anguished soul who has learned a lot about putting, just as an avalanche victim has learned a lot about snow.

I can only tell you that eggs, country ham, biscuits, a pot of coffee, a morning paper, a table by the window overlooking the veranda and putting green, listening to the idle chitchat of competitors, authors, wits and philosophers, hasn't exactly been a torturous way to begin each day at the Masters all these years.

Being a club pro and all, a guy trying to keep up with golf's modern technology, I hadn't found much time for Internet dating, but then one day I knew I'd met the girl of my dreams when she replied to a comment I'd made on You-and-Me.com. She said, 'I love it when you talk equipment to me.'

I don't suppose anybody's ever enjoyed being who they are more than Arnold's enjoyed being Arnold Palmer.