221 Quotes by Dana Gould

If I had a dreamcatcher when I was thirteen, it would have spent many long days in the dryer.

I just staunchly bought one frame during a two-for-one frame sale and barely left the store alive.

As Global Warming raises temparatures, it takes longer to cool pies on window sills, and I wonder if this whole thing was caused by hobos.

Reality TV is the perfect antidote to people who don’t have enough self-centered douchebags in their life.

Why is it, when I have nothing to do, I drink more coffee? It’s as if I’m in a big hurry to get nothing done.

Even if I say, Everyone in the village died of diarrhea, I still laugh a little after diarrhea.

I’m no longer afraid of not making enough mistakes.

If you want to see what I’ll look like as an old guy, check out any recent photo of me.

Cupcakes – when you want to watch your weight, but still feel the pride that comes with eating an entire cake.