221 Quotes by Dana Gould

Being funny is not the same as being happy.

I’m a workaholic, only instead of working I like to drink liquor.

One great way to mess with devout Christians and atheists would be if Jesus came back and said, By the way, you know I’m fake, right?

I’m only afraid of dying if I’m to be held accountable for what I did while living. If there’s no God or reckoning, I’m like, whew!

I’ve grown tired of resting on my laurels and have decided to start resting on my failures.

There’s something vaguely erotic about watching a woman eat a banana while cupping two plums.

I’ll never be alone, because I’ll always have My Problems with me!

Strap On spelled backwards is No Parts. Just sayin’.

Take away the robots and the special effects, and Star Wars is just the simple story of a group of friends planning a terrorist attack.