221 Quotes by Dana Gould

When I found out that coffins are padded, I stopped fearing death.

Showing joy by jumping up and down and clapping goes away at some point between pre-school and being old enough to go to orgies.

Common sense dictates the term hot fudge sundae has a totally different meaning in prison.

Does anyone remember how we used to get cash before ATM’s? Did we have to go inside the bank? Then what? We lived like apes!

I would think, if you were horny enough, there’d come a time when it was hos before bros.