221 Quotes by Dana Gould

Life is like jury duty. Just do it and get it over with.

Is there an award for the best trophy? I bet they hand out a plaque.

The Republican Party is the party of Eddie Haskell and the principal from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.

Just because one pedophile is a football coach, please don’t turn against all pedophiles.

If pop music reflects the culture, this will surely go down as the era in which people rose up and realized it was fun to dance at parties.

Why do old people drive with their mouths open?

Just saw a woman with a big tattoo of Jesus on her back. I guess it’s an ixnay on the oggy style-day.

Like many indelible family memories, carving a pumpkin begins with someone grabbing a really sharp knife.

When homeless people go camping, how do they know?