675 Quotes by Darynda Jones

Try writing an entire story with only a thousand words at your disposal. It’s a terrific lesson in economy and precession.

There's another part, an obstinate part, that wants more. That wants Dutch live and in the flesh. That wants her hand. Her mouth. Her hips under mine. It wants all of her. Every last ounce. Body and soul.

When I'm not scouring through the backstreets of every city in the state, I keep an eye on the girl. My girl.

I thought you were mad at me.” “I am.” “Well, I make it a rule never to have sex with anyone who’s mad at me.” He arched a brow. “It’s a wonder you’ve ever had sex at all.

The dead guy looked at me with wide eyes. “I can’t move my legs.”I snorted. “You can’t move your arms either, or your feet or your freaking eyelids. You’re dead.

You can't trust anything on the Internet.""Can, too," I said, completed offended."So, if I posted a comment saying I was an Arabian prince from Milwaukee?""Yeah, but you're a big fat liar. You don't count. I mean, look at your dad. Pathological liar numeral uno. Lying is in your genes."He leaned forward. There's only one thing in my jeans right now.

You are the worst greeter in the history of greeters ever. In the history. Of time. And greeters.” “Greeter? You think I’m a greeter?” Talk about a demotion. “Yes. To the other side?” She pointed up. “Dude, calling me a greeter is like calling Saint Peter a ticket taker.

I climbed into Misery and called Uncle Bob. “We hooking up?”“Why does everything out of your mouth make me sound incestuous?”“Um, I wasn’t aware that it did. Perhaps you have a guilty conscience.”“Charley.”“Is there something you need to get off your chest? Besides that skank I saw you with the other day?

There must be a special, less volcanic portion of hell that was partitioned off and set aside for people who weren’t all bad, just a little vindictive. They could call it the drama queen ward. It would be a huge hit.