675 Quotes by Darynda Jones

Since I had a soft spot for zombies and my curiosity was killing me, I opted for plan Z.

Who knew Demon Child would have such a normal name? I expected something exotic like Serena or Destiny or the Evil One That Comes in the Night to Make Us Chilly.

That took balls.""Please," I said with a snort, "that took ovaries. Of which I have two.

Maybe I needed sensitivity training. I once signed up for an anger management class, but the instructor pissed me off.

If I couldn't be a good example, I'd just have to be a horrible warning.

LIKE THE SUICIDAL RACCOON, I, TOO, WILL FUCK UP YOUR ALIGNMENT IF YOU RUN ME OVER. - T-shirt

We’re going down to the Margarita Grill to smell the lobster, then we’re going to watch the sunrise, and in between we’ll probably have hot, unsafe animal sex.

Amber was busy flirting with a rookie named Dead Meat if he didn’t stop flirting back. She was eleven, for heaven’s sake! Of course, he may have just been humoring her. And it was a little cute. In a gross, Chester-the-molester kind of way.

Gemma had blond hair and blue eyes. I did not.Gemma was always an A student. I was more of a B-all-you-can-be kind of gal.When Gemma was into science, I was into skipping.When Gemma was into foreign languages, I was into the hot Italian guy down the street.