675 Quotes by Darynda Jones

I could’ve knocked the shit out of her .She’d have good reason to roll her eyes then. But knocking the shit out of rude people wasn’t my style. Heckling them every chance I got was. Hopefully she’d screw up soon. I didn’t have all day.

Can I brush your hair?” she asked as she led the way, her disposition doing a 180 on a dime. Kids. Can’t live with ’em. Can’t eat ’em for lunch.

A lot of people are alive because I shed too much hair to get away with murder.

But have you ever seen one?....They shook their heads. "Not Physically, no. But if you look at this passage - "Man, she liked that Bible. I'd read it and could definitely understand it's appeal, but I didn't have time for this.

I sort of got off on making bad guys sweat. Which was not unlike my love of making good guys sweat, just by very different means.

He had threatened my parents. I had to remember that. Still, it was really hard to stay mad at a wounded naked man.

When life hands you lemons say,"Lemons? What else have you got?"- bumper sticker

Men were weird. Especially men made of tempered steel and fire and perpetual darkness. Or men with penises. Either way

We all have a certain knowledge about how the universe works. And when someone comes along and challenges that knowledge, we don’t know how to deal with it. We aren’t hardwired that way. It’s difficult to question everything you’ve ever thought to be true. So, like I said, it’s not your fault. You can believe me or not, but whichever you choose, you’re the one who has to deal with the consequences. So make your decision wisely, grasshopper,