7 Quotes by Dave Turner

Every time you tell a lie an angel punches a unicorn in the face with a kitten.

Dave grimaced. 'Cheesecake for breakfast?''What's the problem? It's dairy and cereal. It's practically a bowl of cornflakes.

Are you saying that the Rebel Alliance were religious terrorists and Yoda was a benefit cheat?

Dave gazed at Melanie like Professor Brian Cox eyeing up a particularly thought-provoking mountain range.

Being a grown up was rubbish, Dave decided.

I wouldn't call us henchmen.''Then what's m job title?'Anne thought this over for a moment. 'Trainee With Afterlife Transition Senses.''That spells T.W.A.T.S''Does it?' Anne asked innocently.

Why did the chicken cross the road?' repeated Death. Anne sipped her cup of tea. 'I visited a farm when I was a girl. Have you ever looked into the cold, unfeeling eyes of a chicken? Some things are best left unknown.