175 Quotes by David Cross

I don’t think of my opponents in the sense that I don’t think of them consciously, I don’t steer it one way or the other.

I love Tinkle, it’s really the most fun I’ve had in years.

I have always tried to use humor to “help ever” and “hurt never,” for I find that to laugh is like swallowing a secret that Santa Claus farted.

Hopefully people are upset for the reason I want them to be upset. Even when I was doing open mics, I’ve always had people upset. I’ve never been the consummate crowd-pleaser.

I’ll think of the idea and then I’ll write something down, then within that there will be a joke or two which is the original thing which I thought was funny.

Then I will tape the sets and even though I’m not very successful sometimes I will try to cut out the fat and put the jokes closer together.

It probably does make it more difficult to enjoy a good laugh at someone who’s onstage, seemingly yelling at you. But I’m not yelling at the audience, I’m yelling at the world. It genuinely sucks if people are taking it that way. But I’m not talking to individuals.

Aqua Teen Hunger Force is one of the funniest shows on TV and I was a little intimidated working with those guys ’cause you’re in a sound booth by yourself and they’re all in a room in Atlanta.

A verbose, prosaic review which mentions whistling winds and the timeless feeling of jade doesn’t mean anything to me; I don’t need a novella telling me about how an album is like a fine meal.