41 Quotes by David Rees

I didn’t dare to dream of making money. But now of course, I’ve made many thousands of dollars sharpening pencils.

To me, if you’re lucky enough to make stuff that people will pay money for, do a good job. Really do a good job. Especially if you’re talking about real stuff, like terror atrocities and human rights abuses and pencil-sharpening techniques.

It would be amazing to tell my grandchildren, like, ‘Yeah, I was paid to sharpen 1,000 pencils.’

I felt really conflicted about making money off stuff that’s creatively satisfying.

I liked sharpening pencils and I was like, “Oh, I wonder if I could get paid to do it.” And I figured it out and I did it.

I talked to people in the pencil industry and I talked to people as I was sharpening their pencils about the frustrations they have with pencils, so I really did do my research and I do know more about pencils than most people.

I just wanted a really simple, dramatic way so that fans, people who were reading my comic, would be like, “This is something different.” Just to flag it, almost.

I like to do things that are new, where I feel the sense of discovery.

I’m not a professional comedian. Nobody comes to my comedy shows. That’s just a little hobby.