146 Quotes by David Spade

It’s hard to have a career.

Sometimes when I watch a TV season, your favorite shows die quickly. And then sometimes it’s not your favorite, and they live on for 12 years.

Bill Murray I always liked. I’m not as good as him, but there’s a quality in him that I like. And then there’s DeNiro, I’ll never be that.

It’s just easier to make fun and cut down. It’s kind of a way of life in America. If you can make people want to hear what you’re going to say, it can be cruel and funny.

Spent most of the summer looking for shade. Driving around. Shade. Please? Driving in malls. I’ll park a mile away I don’t care. I’m just looking for a tree branch, anything. Long weed. Big leaf, get the front corner panel under it. Oh precious shade, I have it – you don’t!

I have two skateboards, but I don’t get to use them much. I have a snowboard, which I’ve never used.

Never tickle a girl when she has diarrhea.

Stayed up and watched a little spanktrovision. It’s the American way. There’s really nothing wrong with spanktrovision. One of the best inventions of the 1900s, 20th century.

I feel like I’ve got this anti-marriage thing, but it’s less that and more I’m overthinking it to get it right.