146 Quotes by David Spade

When I'm interviewed on Leno, just be funny, period. That's all they want from me. I don't want to tell my life story.

I want to get away from it all. Move to the sticks. Montana. Hundreds of miles from civilization. Get a cabin in the snow. Curl up with some cute girl. Say stuff to her like, Scream all you want, sugar. Ain't nobody gonna hear you!

It wasn't a cutdown to call someone a Mexican. It would kill my career to refer to someone as Mexican today. It's like calling me an American.

If I try to cover too much ground, you start to get watered down and less interesting.

I've got people who like Tommy Boy, but they're getting older and there's a whole new wave of college kids who see that and Joe Dirt, and Just Shoot Me is a little older, so I wanted stuff for everybody.

Gossip is a plague that consumes weak, gullible people and blinds them from the truth of reality; it can devour entire city's. I prefer keeping my eyes wide open.

I'm scared of slipping up, of just doing a joke that makes me laugh.

I'm always making fun of myself and my friends.

I started doing the star turn and making a profit off it. Now I'm kind of one of them.