139 Quotes by David Walliams

Plank to base. I require urgent backup. Repeat. Urgent backup. Am knackered. Repeat. Knackered. And can you pick me up a bag of ready salted crisps on the way? Repeat. Ready salted crisps. Urgent. Over.

I’ve just swum the length of the Thames. I feel quite tired.

I don’t know what I’ll be like when I’m 60. I already have the traits of a retired gentleman.

Children’s books are often seen as the poor relation of literature. But children are just as demanding as adult readers, if not more so. I should know. I’m a children’s writer myself.

I am a huge fan of ‘Doctor Who.’

When I was a child I devoured every book I could get my hands on. I loved losing myself in colourful and dramatic stories – and my absolute favourite was ‘Charlie And The Chocolate Factory.’ Everything about it electrified me, and when I re-read Roald Dahl’s books as an adult it surprised me.

I still enjoy my life, and I feel like I’ve achieved enough things that if I never did anything again, I’d feel confident that I’d still have made my mark in some way. But maybe the self-loathing bit is the element that makes you strive for more. Makes you strive to be better.

Pizza Hut, and then Pizza Express, before seeking sanctuary in the doorway of a Domino’s Pizza.

It was very exciting to see Alan Sugar, so I think I’ve peaked with excitement for the evening, because I’m a massive Apprentice fan.