139 Quotes by David Walliams

I love telling stories. I love the intimacy between the writer and reader. When you write sketches it’s over in two minutes. When you write a book the characters have to have a bit of emotional depth.

I was quite fat as a kid. And swimming is a sport you can enjoy whatever size you are. If you’re fat, running is a pain. I’m not really built for running.

I haven’t put much effort into my personal life and blithely believe it will turn out all right in the end.

It’s easier not to make a particular joke in case it offends. But every joke will offend someone, and I’ve always believed that the audience is bigger than one person. The danger is that things will become bland.

Speeding around his own private racetrack in his own Formula One racing car. Some.

The most used piece of kit in my kitchen is my saucepan. I use it every morning to cook my porridge in. The least used piece of equipment? I’d say a food mixer. I’ve never used it, I don’t really know what they’re for.

The Midnight Gang.

We’ve got 12-year-old boys dressing up as transvestites.

United Kingdom.