21 Quotes by Debra Fine

So dating is a great opportunity to hear someone else’s stories. Listen to them actively and empathetically—and even share some of your own when it’s appropriate—but don’t kill the conversation with domination. Listening is a great way to find out if there’s something worth pursuing in that person sitting across from you.

Don’t plan a movie/theater date for the first few dates. Interaction is key to getting to know each other.

People like to feel good about themselves. Dating is the perfect opportunity to do that for someone else. Make them feel like they’re attractive and interesting. Focus on your date rather than worrying about what he or she is thinking of you.

Interviewing Questions •What do you enjoy most about this season of the year?•What got you involved in this organization/event?•If you weren’t here, what would you be doing at this very moment?•If you could meet any one person, whom would you choose?•Tell me about an issue that matters a great deal to you.•What has been your most important work experience?

Interviewing Questions •What word would you say describes you best?•Do you have a personal motto or creed?•Do you have any heroes that you greatly admire?•What did people in high school think you were like?•What do you do that you wish you could stop doing?

Going beyond cliche phrases:•How was your summer? Excellent.What special things did you do?•How were your holidays? Pretty good.How did you celebrate?•How was your weekend? Good.What did you do? I went to see that new play down at the Civic Center.Really? You’re interested in ______? I never knew that.Tell me more about that.•Did you do anything relaxing?•Is that something you usually do on the weekend?

Here are some other examples of digging deeper into a conversation: You ask, How have you been?and get the reply, Busy. Follow-up responses could include: How do you deal with being busy? What is going on that’s got you so busy? Describe a busy day for you. Do you like being busy?Does there seem to be a cycle of busy-ness during your year? Do you remember a time in your life when you weren’t as busy?

POSITIVE MESSAGES TO THE SPEAKER•Lean forward •Maintain eye contact •Open up your arms and body •Relax your body posture •Face your partner •Nod and smile

Don’t be afraid of looking dumb or saying the wrong thing. Laughing at yourself is the best way to develop a sense of humor (if you don’t already have one) and, at the same time, make people feel less threatened by you.