393 Quotes by Dennis Miller

Maybe democrats will eventually turn on Obamacare when they realize you might need a photo I.D. to participate in the program.

It's nice to be included in the broadcast food chain.

Then people ask me if I'm worried about the effects of global warming on my kids. Well, obviously I love my kids and I want them to live to be a 100. So that's another 1.8 degrees. My kids' kids? Three point six. I'll just tell them we moved to Phoenix.

Since the bus, a lot of people go to Florida who wouldn't if they had to hire a driver.

By and large, I think it should be a rule in the teacher employment manual that you can't go attend any event where if you took your classroom on a student field trip, they would summarily be obliterated. That should be rule No. 1.

And finally, and most importantly, the next time we go to war, don't give a specific reason for the war that the left can seize upon and later flog us with it ad nauseam, just do it. Remember, the first rule of Fight Club is that you don't talk about Fight Club.

My interest is that there has to be some funding source in perpetuity that could maintain the land in Town Center.

I have a nice house. And when somebody says it's a palace, I always feel like we're digging a little or something.

Some people like to travel by train because it combines the slowness of a car with the cramped public exposure of an airplane.