318 Quotes by Dylan Moran

The characters can't be wittier than people are in real life. They have to be character witty

Why do I even dare to think I could dream I could imagine I could hope?

i don't mind most religious people. i talk to them. you know, i listen to them banging on.. 'i prayed very hard and then the fairy came.' did he? good. have a biscuit. i only get annoyed when they try and make me see the fairy. 'you have to let the fairy into your heart.' look, i wouldn't let him into my garden. i'd shoot him on sight, if he existed, which he doesn't. now have another bicky and be quiet, please.

The East is very mysterious to Westerners. Even post-Cold War, it's still an unknown entity.

We are both drawn to surreal situations so the writing was a joy.

I think I still get something from the original broadcaster but I'm certainly not aware of any Netflix van driving to my house and unloading a load of cash into my front yard.

You try various things when you're growing up. I was an attache in the Foreign Service for a while and then I drove a bulldozer, but neither of those panned out for me so it had to be stand-up

Money can't buy you love, but it can get you some really good chocolate ginger biscuits.

I suppose the best comedy shows do have the rock n' roll feeling - if it's a great night, and the roof is raised yeah, it's a similar feeling, sure.