318 Quotes by Dylan Moran

I don't do drugs. If I want a rush I just get out of a chair when I'm not expecting it.

If you're talking about crowd enthusiasm, it varies. I have a decent following in Australia so I like there. I'm interested in playing everywhere.

I don't walk around knocking on doors and going to auditions and things generally. All the work I did was self-created.

You've a very important, early decision to make in your life: are you going to be alone, or are you going to be with somebody else? Are you going to be sane, or not lonely? A couple is a strange thing; it's an organism that's half as intelligent as the most intelligent member. And you both know who it is.

Over the years The Stand have been great about giving me stage time if I need to run new material. The audience is always a great mix of attentive and loud and lively: you get that good listening quality that any good comedy club should have.

You’re not really an adult at all. You’re just a tall child holding a beer, having a conversation you don’t understand.

Look at his face. I bet his cornflakes try to crawl out of the bowl.

The American political machinery is awesome to behold in its scale and expense and waste and madness. It's the greatest circus on Earth I suppose.

Don't clap I'm not a jazz band for Christ's sake.