318 Quotes by Dylan Moran

Nothing can make me feel better now, except cocaine.

I'm not a fighter, I'm a bleeder.

Everybody does that now. We all take pics... you do the same with holiday photos. You record something to look back on it, even though you’re not really there when you’re taking the picture ‘cause you’re too busy recording it - so you retrospectively go to look back on where you weren’t and tell yourself you had a good time.

I can't swim. I can't drive, either. I was going to learn to drive but then I thought, well, what if I crash into a lake?

Idioms are a big thing in Ireland. They want to fill the time, to show how good they are at talk - it's a talk-off

He could dismiss several schools of philosophy by shifting slightly in his chair or toting his whisky glass.

As an Irish person, there’s a historical fascination with America: America is the default green and promised land for Irish people and Italians; that’s what we grow up with.

The East is very mysterious to Westerners. Even post-Cold War, it’s still an unknown entity.

Don’t do it! Stay away from your potential. You’ll mess it up, it’s potential, leave it. Anyway, it’s like your bank balance – you always have a lot less than you think.