318 Quotes by Dylan Moran

Men look at breasts the way women look at babies. 'Aw, isn't that lovely.'

I was lucky in the sense that I was never blessed with an overly reflective nature.

You see the button with the guy with the tray, and you push it, AND HE ARRIVES WITH A SANDWICH! ...And you think: "Yes! Yes! I control sandwich monkey! I live in magic land, magic land, magic land"

I'm Irish, yeah, but I don't need to get up on a soapbox about it.

You know it's a sad day when your child looks at you and asks 'Daddy, are these organic?'

In the same way, there is some creature gnawing away inside of me, urging me to do things in different ways.

When did you ever hear of a child not in need? 'Oh that's enough jam tart for me, I'll just go now and clean the toilets.'

It's true that I have spoken about doing a book before, but then everyone you speak to is planning to write a book.

I don't know what I want but I know that I want it now.