83 Quotes by Earl Wilson

Middle Age - later than you think and sooner than you expect.

Today's accent may be on youth, but the stress is still on the parents.

Many a standing ovation has been caused by someone jumping to his feet in an effort to beat the rest of the audience to the parking lot.

An exhaustive study of police records shows that no woman has ever shot her husband while he was doing the dishes.

If you look like your passport photo, in all probability you need the journey.

Mathematics-a wonderful science, but it hasn't yet come up with a way to divide one tricycle between three small boys.

He's so snobbish he has an unlisted zip-code.

A bachelor is a guy who leans toward women - but not far enough to lose his balance.

Golf is a lot of walking, broken up by disappointment and bad arithmetic.