83 Quotes by Earl Wilson

Feminists say 60 percent of the country’s wealth is in the hands of women. They’re letting men hold the other 40 percent because their handbags are full.

Isn’t it a shame that future generations can’t be here to see all the wonderful things we’re doing with their money?

Saying ‘Gesundheit’ doesn’t really help the common cold – but its about as good as anything the doctors have come up with.

He’s so snobbish he has an unlisted zip-code.

Home, nowadays, is a place where part of the family waits till the rest of the family brings the car back.

There’s only one kind of tax that would please everybody – one that nobody but the other guy has to pay.

A bachelor is a guy who leans toward women – but not far enough to lose his balance.

The man who didn’t want his wife to work has been succeeded by the man who asks about her chances of getting a raise.

An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen.