91 Quotes by Ed Helms

Who among us wouldn't rush out and buy a Pepsi if we thought it would make the Osborne's disappear?

I cannot stress this enough - if you try to install an HDTV in a non-HDTV compatible house, you may tear the space-time continuum.

Alcohol causes conflicts, firearms resolve conflicts.

All I knew is that I loved movies and comedy and TV, and I wanted to perform. I made a bunch of shorts and movies in college, and that was always fun too. I directed some plays in college. It was taking it all in and trying to immerse myself in as much of it as possible.

There are currently more political parties in Iraq than unbombed buildings to hold them.

It's kind of hard to win most elections on anti-family, immorality, and Satan-worship.

When you try hard at everything you do, even when it feels foolish to do so, you’re opening up doors and possibilities you might not be seeing in the moment.

To be totally candid, it was really born out of a panic attack the summer between my sophomore and junior years, when I realized I wasn't going to graduate in four years unless I somehow managed to glue together all the courses I'd taken. That said, I'm really glad I did it, 'cause it was really fun, and I was able to just take whatever the hell I wanted.

February is a month of months, and there is one special day: Valentine's Day on the 14th. I know it's still a ways off, but I just can't wait. Janice, if you're watching, will you make me the happiest man in the world and get out of my apartment?