641 Quotes by Ellen DeGeneres

I feel like I have a hangover, without all the happy memories and mystery bruises.

I'm sure there's somebody out there who doesn't like Betty White because she's short and has white hair.

I don't understand the sizes anymore. There's a size zero, which I didn't even know that they had. It must stand for: 'Ohhh my God, you're thin.'

Oh she tripped?....Nooo, she's running. I thought she tripped but she's running. She stopped running, she did trip. You tripped!!!

Some of the most devastating things that happen to you will teach you the most

I cannot imagine not going home to animals. They are the closest thing to God; they don't harbor resentment. I wanted to be a vet when I grew up.

I'm a comedian, and I definitely see the humor in a lot of things. I am also sad a lot. I cry often and easily. I think you're supposed to feel all kinds of things.

Seriously, I think overall in the scheme of things, winning an Emmy is not important,

I believe one day a 'ban on gay marriage' will sound totally ridiculous. In the meantime, I will continue to speak out for equality for all of us.