62 Quotes by Ellie Kemper

Some people think they can barge in and give you their opinion even though you didn't ask for it.

Have you ever noticed that when God closes a door, he opens a window? Neither have I. But I have noticed that timing and luck sometimes line up in such a way that you can catch a break.

Like Sally Hawkins with the creature of water, I seemed to have developed a crush on something that wasn't exactly a person, but was definitely smarter than a fish.

There is no greater punishment than shame', I recalled from either an old Buddhist text or something my high school indoor soccer coach said once.

I knew that I needed to quiet my mind; lucky for me, there is no place to quiet your mind like the northernmost edge of Manhattan's Times Square.

One of my great hobbies in life is feeling sorry for myself. Nothing makes me feel more alive than when I suspect I have been wronged. Oh, the energy!

My favorite feature is my red hair. Why wouldn't it be? It sets me apart from other people who don't have red hair, and it instantly bonds me with people who do. Experts often say that redheads are an endangered species - but experts say a lot of things. My own hasty scans of sidewalks and shopping malls show plenty of us out and about. Maybe the experts are just saying that because they are jealous of all the redheads - and the only revenge they know is to claim that we will all die.

I've never had prejudice against me because of being a woman in comedy, I've never felt any sort of unfairness because of that - but I do think it is naive to think that it doesn't exist.

Los Angeles survives on that which is unpredictable. The unexpected courses through its very veins.