606 Quotes by Eoin Colfer

It was probably the stupid glasses. How were you supposed to see anything wearing mirrored sunglasses underground? Any they were so nineties, they weren't even retro yet.

Are you saying that you people knew about these amorophobots all the time?""Of course we did. They attacked us in Iceland. Remember?""No. I was unconscious.

*to thor* Zeus had replied that he had pulled fluffballs of lint out of his bellybutton that were bigger than Asgard

Let us proceed under the assumption that the fairy folk do exist, and that I am not a gibbering moron.

I don't know why it is, Captain Short, but whenever you start agreeing with me, I get decidedly nervous.

Thankfully the rest of the world assumed that the Irish were crazy, a theory that the Irish themselves did nothing to debunk. They had somehow got it into their heads that each fairy lugged around a pot of gold with him wherever he went. While it was true that LEP had a ransom fund, because of its officers' high-risk occupation, no human had ever taken a chunk of it yet. This didn't stop the Irish population in general from skulking around rainbows, hoping to win the supernatural lottery.

Careful, Mr. Spiro, guns are dangerous. Especially the end with the hole.

Well, am I forgiven?'Butler sighed. On the chaise lounge, Juliet snored like a drunken sailor. He smiled suddenly.'Yes, Artemis. All is forgiven. Just one thing…''Yes?''Never again. Fairies are too… human.

I hear that you were on a date with Trouble Kelp. Are you two planning on building a bivouac any time soon?