606 Quotes by Eoin Colfer

Angeline, distraught over her son's obsession and afraid of the effects of the past year on Artemis's mind, signed her thirteen-year-old up for treatment with the school counselor. You have to feel sorry for him. The counselor, that is.

He needed a plan. Something audacious and brilliant. Something that had never been attempted before. Artemis was not unduly worried on that front. His brain had never let him down before.

This was a nightmare scenario for any bodyguard: stuck in the middle of a transparent tube, several miles underwater, with a murdering band of fugitives at one end and an enthralled but still highly skilled police officer at the other.

Maybe I'm just gonna kill you," says Mike, peeved at being predictable. "You ever think of that?""No, Mike. Because if you wanted me dead, then four or five of your guys would be in the hospital and I'd have a flesh wound. Maybe.

I never tell anyone exactly how clever I am. They would be too scared.

A genius he may be, but he is still a habitual meddler and magnet for trouble.” The bodyguard winked at Artemis. “No offense, young sir, but you could turn a Sunday picnic into an international incident.

A CD. How quaint. We have these in museums.

Listen to me, goblin. You're stupid, let's accept that and move on.

Yes. Because every family needs a laser for thier family jet.