530 Quotes by Erma Bombeck

It seemed rather incongruous that in a society of super sophisticated communication, we often suffer from a shortage of listeners.

If the nest is truly empty, who owns all this junk?

Humorists can never start to take themselves seriously. It's literary suicide.

When humor go's, there go's civilization.

A child develops individuality long before he develops taste.

Encourage independence in your children by regularly losing them in the supermarket.

I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars.

I'm going to stop punishing my children by saying, “Never mind! I'll do it myself.

Cleaning the house while the children are home is like shoveling while it's still snowing.