530 Quotes by Erma Bombeck

Those magazine dieting stories always have the testimonial of a woman who wore a dress that could slipcover New Jersey in one photo and thirty days later looked like a well-dressed thermometer.

A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.

Before we sent kids to computer camps and told them they were having a good time, there was imagination among the human species.

No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed.

Babies on television never spit up on the Ultrasuede.

To my way of thinking, the American family started to decline when parents began to communicate with their children.

Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you.

Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It's too controversial.

Poached eggs are good, poached animals are not.