753 Quotes by Evan Esar

The man who doctors himself with the aid of medical books, runs the risk of dying of a typographical error.

Hard work never hurt anyone who hired someone else to do it.

Diets show to what great lengths women will go so as not to go to great widths.

There's only one thing worse than to live without working, and that is to work without living.

A dictator's chief problem is keeping the stomachs of his subjects full while keeping their heads empty.

Formerly when a man worked ten hours a day, it was called economic slavery; nowadays it is called moonlighting.

In a democracy, you believe it or not; in a dictatorship, you believe it or else.

Some people would never get any exercise at all if they didn't have to walk to their cars.

Many people will laugh at the drop of a hat, especially if the man is still in it.