753 Quotes by Evan Esar

Egotist: 1. A person who is his own best friend. 2. An I specialist. 3. A man whose opinions all change, except the one he has of himself.

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy - and Jill a wealthy widow.

The secret of successful writing lies in striking the right keys on the typewriter.

Times change: it was once the custom to take a bath weekly and religion daily.

The lecturer who is full of his subject is usually very slow in emptying himself.

Public speaking is the art of diluting a two-minute idea with a two-hour vocabulary.

A home in the country is what a city man hopes to buy and a farmer hopes to sell.

The man who has a girl in every port is not a sailor but a wholesaler.

A good loser is all right, but it isn't so much fun to beat him.