753 Quotes by Evan Esar

The more beautiful a girl's face, the less a man can tell you what clothes she has on.

Many woman has the kind of face that grows on a man instead of the kind that should grow on a woman.

The face that over cocktails seemed so sweet, is less alluring over shredded wheat.

A well-adjusted person is one who can play golf and bridge as if they were games.

If you watch a game, it's fun; if you play it, it's recreation; if you work at it, it's golf.

What some people enjoy most about table tennis is stepping on the ball.

It's not how much you gain between Christmas and New Year's that counts, it's how much you gain between New Year's and Christmas.

Many a man whose wife deserts him, throws himself on the mercy of a quart.

When a woman complains that her photographs don't do her justice, what she wants isn't justice, but mercy.