753 Quotes by Evan Esar

Conscience is the playback of the still, small voice that warned you not to do it in the first place.

Man has been exhorted to love his enemies, but so far alcohol is the only enemy he has learned to love.

A diplomat is one who can put his foot down without stepping on someone else's toes.

The football season is the only time of the year when girls whistle at men in sweaters.

The one for the road may be two for the cemetery.

Easter is the only time when it's perfectly safe to put all your eggs in one basket.

To keep friends, treat them kindly; to kill friends, treat them often.

All things come to him who waits that's why the smart man hustles.

Don't believe a liar even if you know he's telling the truth.