753 Quotes by Evan Esar

What every drunk needs is to get more blood into his alcohol stream.

Why pay to go see a bad movie when you can watch television and see a bad one for nothing?

Cheat me once, you ought to be ashamed; cheer me twice, I ought to be ashamed.

A legal action that results in no damages is an example of a cause without an effect.

The happiest days in a movie star's life are her wedding days.

If a false friend is one who stabs you in the back, is a true friend one who stabs you in front?

Sometimes nothing is the cleverest thing you can say when you want to say something clever.

The man who doesn't go to any church probably had a baptism that didn't take.

Children prefer snow, but adults prefer rain because it is self shoveling.