753 Quotes by Evan Esar

Some of today's films are so long that it takes less time to read the book.

The man who invented the alarm clock believed people slept too long or worked too little.

There's one good thing about tight shoes: they make you forget your other troubles.

A girl doesn't have to watch the speedometer to know what her boyfriend is driving at.

Of all the clever wives, the cleverest is the one who never lets her husband suspect how clever she is.

Life always gives you plenty to think about, but seldom enough to think with.

All misanthropes are alike in their dislike of people.

When you hire people who are smarter than you are, you prove you are smarter than they are.

Man is a conceited creature: when we're right we credit our judgement; when we're wrong we curse our luck.