753 Quotes by Evan Esar

The more we think of some people, the less we think of them.

The most welcome surprise you can give to your wife on your anniversary is to remember it.

April showers bring may flowers. Also headaches to mother from kids indoors for hours.

Winter is when you turn up the furnace to keep the house as hot as it was last summer when you turned on the air conditioner.

A man's intelligence is seldom questioned as long as he can keep his tongue from trying to prove it.

The only thing worse than hearing the alarm clock is not hearing it.

Some movies are so bad that they have to be seen to be depreciated.

Giving and take give we hear a great deal about the Lord loving cheerful givers.

A poker face enables a card player to conceal the kind of hand he has by the kind of face he hasn't.