753 Quotes by Evan Esar

An argument is an angry dispute in which two persons keep talking without throwing anything.

With modern jets you can have breakfast in Los Angeles, lunch in New York, dinner in London, and baggage in Rome.

Corn is estimated out West by the foot, down South by the gallon, and on television by the hour.

The man who looks half dead should take a holiday, or has.

When an alarm clock wakes a man up, it makes him feel not like the early bird, but like the worm.

The difficulty in finding an ideal candidate is that no man can have prejudices enough to fit all sections.

When you flee temptation be sure you don't leave a forwarding address.

There's nothing so rare as the ability to take good advice, except the wisdom to give it.

Self-esteem is the confidence which a person has in himself even though there's no one be has fooled more often.