753 Quotes by Evan Esar

Prejudice is merely a lazy man's substitute for thinking.

Cheat me once, you ought to be ashamed; cheat me twice, I ought to be ashamed.

The man who invented the alarm clock probably did more than anyone else to arouse the working classes.

Homes are built to provide a little security for a family, and a lot of security for the bank that holds the mortgage.

A silver wedding is the day on which a married man celebrates twenty-five years of work under the same boss.

Democracy is a ship of state whose officers try to steer a straight course in all directions.

Some people's idea of a celebration is to enjoy a Christmas they'll never forget and a New Year's they can't remember.

Marriage brings music into a man's life. He learns to play second fiddle at home.

An alarm clock is built with a mechanism to scare the daylights into you.