753 Quotes by Evan Esar

Some men, in telling a fish story, will go to any length.

Half of the world doesn't see how the other half can see anything funny in what it laughs at.

When an alcoholic wants to celebrate an occasion, does he go out and get sober.

A wedding ring may not be as tight as a tourniquet, but it stops the wearer's circulation.

Some people are impressed only when they are suppressed.

A woman is likely to keep trying on shoes till the salesman has a fit.

It's the nature of women not to love when we love them, and to love when we love them not.

Tact is giving a person a pat on the back when you feel like giving him a kick in the pants.

She is so sure of getting her own way, she could even write her diary in advance.