753 Quotes by Evan Esar

Space travel is the only way now known to man of leaving this world without dying.

Wars take longer nowadays because generals spend most of their time keeping diaries for future books.

The army is another organization that gives commissions in addition to salaries.

Before marriage, she tells him where to take her; after marriage, she tells him where to go.

There's plenty of room at the top, but not enough for the people who think they ought to be there.

No man has ever been able to explain why a woman feels more comfortable in uncomfortable shoes than she does in comfortable ones.

No matter how fast a clock may run, it always winds up at the same place.

The best way of getting ahead of most people is by getting along with some and getting around others.

To the bachelor, a wedding ring symbolizes a vicious cycle.