753 Quotes by Evan Esar

Easter is the only time when it’s perfectly safe to put all of your eggs in one basket.

Some people are good at spelling; others know how to spell the synonyms for the words they don't know how to spell.

Some people are greedy even when they pray: they expect a thousand-dollar answer to a one minute prayer.

A contract is an agreement where the size of the print tends to contract the more you read.

Liquor works two ways; it will either put you on top of the world, or under the table.

The government is the only organization that operates on a deficit and still makes money.

A man is no greater than his wife's opinion.

An open mind helps a man understand a woman, an open wallet helps a woman understand a man.

More and more married women are working nowadays, some of them even at home.