753 Quotes by Evan Esar

Pay as you go, unless you are going for good.

Family: a social unit where the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with the closet space.

Some people are such liars, they cannot even tell the truth in a diary.

The proof that many a man is a poor judge of human nature is the good opinion he holds of himself.

The only way to pass motorists at a safe distance is to travel by air.

A girl uses soft soap to get a ring off her finger - and also to get one on.

Being a bachelor has its disadvantages: for one thing , he has to get up very early to make the money to stay up very late.

It is good to have an open mind, but be sure it is not open at both ends.

The only perfect people are those we do not know.