753 Quotes by Evan Esar

The disadvantage of becoming wise is that you realize how foolish you've been.

An expert is someone who takes something you already know and makes it sound confusing.

The honeymoon is the only period when a woman isn't trying to reform her husband.

A word to the wise is -- unnecessary.

You can always tell the golfer who's winning: he's the one who keeps telling his opponent that it's only a game.

If you don't like to make excuses or apologies, stop making promises.

Many a husband lives to regret the extravagant fee he bestowed upon the minister who sentenced him.

A husband may forget where he went on his honeymoon, but he never forgets why.

The only time a lazy man ever succeeds is when he tries to do nothing.