753 Quotes by Evan Esar

Television is a daily menace to housework, and a nightly menace to homework.

There are two kinds of fools; mindful and mindless.

When a wife laughs at her husband's jokes, it's not because they are clever, but because she is.

If there were no listeners, there would be no liars.

The battle against crime should begin in the high chair so as not to end in the electric chair.

In some women, intuition is like a sixth sense; in other, a sick sense.

The evil that men do makes them eligible for nomination to office.

Your health depends more on the number of years that have passed over your head than on the number of colds that have passed through it.

Speak when you're angry and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret.