753 Quotes by Evan Esar

The only wedding that is sure to go off without a hitch is where the groom doesn't show up.

Heaven lies about us in our infancy, and everybody else when we grow up.

A great evil is the number of people who are trying to get something for nothing, and a greater evil is the number of people who succeed.

A flirt may not always be equal to the occasion, but she is always equal to the occasional.

The picture of health requires a happy frame of mind.

The surest sign of growing old is when you begin to regret the sins you did not commit.

Prejudice is merely a lazy man's substitute for lazy thinking.

Happiness consists of not longing for the things that make us happy.

Actions lie louder than words.