753 Quotes by Evan Esar

Love should be behind every wedding, but not too far behind.

Don't be conceited; even postage stamps become useless when they get stuck on themselves.

The secret of getting ahead is getting started.

Homework sometimes shows how much children don't know, but more often how much their parents don't know.

Things are good for gray hair, but the best one is a sensible head.

A wife is a great consolation, especially when a man comes home after his girl friend has run out on him.

The most common argument against marriage is the one between husband wife.

The trouble with many people is that they take so long to start to begin to get ready to commence.

Another thing about women is that they can be persuaded to do anything with their hair, except leave it alone.