15 Quotes by FayJay

There – that was the awkward 'I think you're lovely and I do hope we can be friends but, oh, by the way, please don't get flirty because I'm not really in the vagina business' bit over and done with

Nobody's straight," said Cedric, rolling his eyes. "They are just confused. And too sober.

I don't think you're going to pull the wool over anyone's eyes with all this macrame talk.

You're just jealous of my beard.""No. No, really not. It makes you look like you've got a ferret trying to shag your chin.

I wouldn't want to fuck you if you had a ten inch knob made of gold and your arsehole was the gate to Nirvana. I can't be friends with you because you're a gibbering twatwaffle, not because I would ever, in a million years, want to shag you. Get over yourself!

He didn't want to have to be the Gay Best Friend providing life lessons for liberal straight people. He just wanted to get laid.