63 Quotes by Finley Peter Dunne

The world is not growing worse and it is not growing better -- it is just turning around as usual.

Stories are meant to comfort the afflicted, and afflict the comfortable.

Th' first thing to have in a libry is a shelf.Fr'm time to time this can be decorated with lithrachure.But th' shelf is th' main thing.

Swearing was invented as a compromise between running away and fighting.

Th' newspaper does ivrything f'r us. It runs th' polis foorce an' th' banks, commands th' milishy, controls th' ligislachure, baptizes th' young, marries th' foolish, comforts th' afflicted, afflicts th' comfortable, buries th' dead an' roasts thim aftherward.

Look it over some time. 'T is fine spoort if ye don't care f r checkers. Some say it laves th' flag up in th' air an' some say that's where it laves th' constitution. Annyhow, something'» in th' air. But there's wan thing I 'm sure about."" What's that ?" asked Mr. Hennessy." That is," said Mr. Dooley, " no matther whether th' constitution follows th' flag or not, th' supreme coort follows th' iliction returns.

Trust everybody, but cut the cards.

A game you play with your own worst enemy-yourself.

Alcohol is necessary for a man so that he can have a good opinion of himself, undisturbed by the facts.