579 Quotes by Fran Lebowitz

If you read a lot, nothing is as great as you've imagined. Venice is - Venice is better.

There are two modes of transport in Los Angeles: car and ambulance. Visitors who wish to remain inconspicuous are advised to choose the latter

If I lived in another country, like a country that was, say, an enemy of the United States, I would be more amused than I am.

The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them a drink.

A community is a butcher and a doctor, a minister, a town troublemaker. A "community" is not a bunch of people united by some grievance. That's just self-righteousness -- incredibly dangerous and antidemocratic.

There are certain relationships I think I'm great at: I'm the world's greatest daughter. I'm a great relative. I believe I'm a great friend.

Do not have your child's hair cut by a real hairdresser in a real hairdressing salon. He is, at this point, far too short to be exposed to contempt.

Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky.

I always make a big effort to make a distinction between what is actually worse or what is just worse about not being 21. Of course, it's much worse not to be 21. This is a given. But there are things that are worse.